The years have come and gone so fast that, now, three years have gone by. In that time I have struggled with how best to leave a tribute to a friend. How best to serve Ben's memory. Many times I have began. Many times I went nowhere. Nothing ever lived up to expectation. Nothing I ever wrote. I think that maybe its because that time was so meaningful to me. Too meaningful to let go of. But now, somewhat older, somewhat wiser, I can admit my own mortality. I can reason out that I want to leave some words to a friend before memory has faded. I want them to still have strength and courage, still feel pain and suffering. Feelings that I know will lessen with time.

Ben's death was my first; not just the first that hit close to home, but really the first to which I was to experience. Before that, I didn't understand it. I think that I choose to ignore the consequence of failure, of making a mistake, of slipping. With Ben's leadership, my brother and I used to joke, "We'd follow you into the depths of hell, Ben." And we really would. The problem was, Ben had skills my brother and I lacked but we were too foolish and young to say "No way!" Even much more skilled and talented than we were, he taught us. Although I was too stubborn to admit it then, far too competitive to allow ourselves to be beaten. But I know it now. I knew it the day Ben died. I think about that day most days, which is sad but true. On November 9th 2003 my best friend died and it would rock my world, tip it on its side and nearly shove off the edge.

On that day Suzie Orman was on (investment guru on TV). Every time I see the show while flipping through channels, I get angry. It was the last thing I saw before I turned the television off and stared at the ceiling. I knew something was wrong, but I didn't know what. In fact, when Josh left that morning, I told him to be careful. I also said, "Why don't you grab your kayak? The Grand Canyon of the Elwha looks like a great run." That day I also began a new Journal: PAGE 1158. It was in a different format than I had done previously.

On November 8, 2003 9a.m. I wrote:

So - here I am making a change. I will notate other entries in my old Journal (Field Journal). My hope is that this larger format will allow me to add photos, stories, poetry, mementoes, etc.

I am here - at home left again to study [my securities license]. Adventure beckons! Josh, John Easton, and Troy left to mountain bike. Tomorrow John and Josh will hook up with Ben and others to kayak the Grand Canyon of the Elwha. My hope is that carnage is at a minimum and all ends will for them. My carnage, considering my boxed predicament, will be I am sure, at a minimum.

I first met Ben and his brother Troy at White Pass. Josh and I had never met another Telemark Skier (make a link here to a definition) who was as young. There were two other brothers we had met once. They escaped with their parents from Czechoslovakia and told us of their harrowing escape. I remember them being very good, although a few years older. Meeting someone our age was encouraging to my brother and I. "Josh, let's kick these guy's asses," I remember saying when we first saw Troy and his brother Ben. Thus was the way the race began. Every weekend we'd find each other again, join up to see what cliff, flip, 360, or other foolishness we could begin our day with.

The first time we met was on April 28, 1996, page 34 of my journal, when I was 15 years old.

Me and Josh met two good skiers around our age. Troy Manfredi and Ben Manfredi. Had a great time skiing with them and probably will ski with them soon. Jumped the cliff off executioner and another on the last day at White pass.

The next season we met on opening day at White Pass. Entry 11-26-1996:

Well we went skiing last weekend, on saturday, had a great time. We Met Troy and Ben Manfredi and we skied with them for the day. Ben had a few downhill ski buddies with him, they were good and a little crazy, but fun to ski with. I'm sure we'll meet up with them again.

And we did meet up with them again.

Ben kept many of his and our adventures on cascadeclassics, a website name that is fitting for the region's Cascade mountain range and the feeling of the adventures we put here...

I wrote this a long time ago, but there are photos and stories of a select few journeys.

TRIBUTE TO BEN